I’m off to a 5-day Entrepreneurs Mastermind at the Grand Canyon with 23 other highly successful entrepreneurs. We’ll be rafting, camping and hiking throughout the Grand Canyon, which should be an epic journey.
In this video blog, I share a bit of an update on things and what my focus is during the mastermind sessions of what I want to get out of it.
Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on iTunes, YouTube or below on the blog. I appreciate it!
Mentors, coaches and role models can be powerful resources for helping you to take action to achieve important goals. These are people that have been where you are and have achieved what you want to achieve.
In this video, I’m going to share with you how to find a mentor.
The best mentors will help you learn and grow by sharing their knowledge and wisdom with you; they will accelerate your learning process and help you to get to your goal much quicker.
Usually, mentors want to work with people that are committed to their personal growth and development. Be mindful that a good mentor will monitor your progress; if you do not listen to their advice or apply action, they will re-evaluate the time that they commit to the mentoring relationship.
Hey, this is Stefan from projectlifemastery.com. In this video, I want to share with you how to find a mentor. Now, if you’re watching this video right now, then you probably already know that mentors, coaches and role models are a really important factor of success.
If you had somebody that was mentoring you, coaching you, guiding you and holding your hand step-by-step to help you achieve your goals and the results that you’re after, then obviously you’re going to get there a lot faster. I think mentors, role models, and coaches are very important in achieving success. I think there are different levels of it that are useful.
I think, 31, virtual role models and mentors are very powerful. As you’re watching this video right now, in a way, I’m mentoring you; I’m sharing advice and experience that has benefited me in my life from my success, that you can then model and utilize in your life. We’re so lucky, guys. We’re so lucky that we live in a world where the Internet exists.
The fact that you can go online, you can find people that are millionaires and billionaires, people that are successful, healthy and fit, and have amazing relationships, and that you can get access to these people and learn from them in a virtual way online is very powerful.
Virtual mentors, role models and coaches, are very powerful
I’m a big believer, as you’re doing right now here on Youtube, of following people, subscribing to people, and learning directly from them in the online capacity that you are in, that’s very powerful, as well as online training programs and courses. That’s one of the best ways that I’ve been able to learn as well, because you’ve got to understand that a lot of mentors, you might think, “I want to be mentored by Bill Gates. I want to be mentored by Richard Branson,” or something like that, but it’s not very realistic because these are people that are so successful, and their time is worth so much. They have millions of people that would love to be mentored by them, but your chances of being mentored directly by them is almost impossible.
If you can instead understand that you could find a course, a program, or a book or a resource, any information from that person that you want to invest in, than consume that, because now, you’re almost getting into their mind, you’re getting into their blueprint, their mindset. You’re learning from them. You’re being mentored by them in a virtual way by consuming information from that person.
For example, if you were to hire me and I was your mentor, maybe in an hour of conversation, I can help you. I can guide you. I already have different courses and products out there that you’re going to learn so much more because now you can get access to some of my courses where you’re going to get hours of my time of me coaching you, guiding you and giving information to you.
In many ways, it’s much more inexpensive and efficient to learn from a mentor by purchasing their books, resources and information. I’m a big believer in that. I understand and respect that, a lot of mentors, they’re time is valuable. I don’t want to take up too much of their time. If I can learn from them, from their programs and courses, I’m going to do that first, because I don’t want to waste their time and have them share with me things that they’ve already shared for free on Youtube, or free in their course, product, or book.
I think you want to take advantage of that as much as possible. I know for myself, I didn’t have successful people in my life. I turned to books. I turned to the Internet. I turned to audio programs. That’s how I’ve been able to be mentored by people, like Tony Robbins and Brian Tracy, and these successful people that I’ve never even met, but they’ve influenced my life in such an incredible way. Take advantage of that as much as possible; books, audio programs, courses, etc. Seminars are great, too. Really, really awesome stuff.
Now, you’re probably wondering, “Okay. Well, I’m watching this video because I want to be mentored by someone that is successful and I should find a mentor.” A few tips that I have for you, #1, understand that a mentor is someone that you have to pursue. You’ve got to find the right mentor for you, and understand those people that are successful that you want to learn from, they’re in a position where their time is valuable, and there’s probably a lot of people that would love to be mentored and coached by them as well. In fact, they probably have a lot of people that reach out to them and request coaching and mentoring, etc.
One thing that successful people hate and can’t stand is people wasting their time
Successful people always know that time is their most valuable asset. Time is more valuable than money because you can make more money, but you can’t get more time. Time is a depreciating asset. We all have a certain amount. It’s slowly decreasing as time goes by. You’ve got to understand to respect and value the person’s time.
You don’t want to waste their time in any way. You have to also understand that you can’t just go to someone and say, “Hey, can you mentor me,” because you’re coming from a position of trying to get something from them. You’re trying to take value from that person. You’re just expecting them to mentor you and just give up their time, which they could then spend with their family, doing things that are important for them, growing their business, making more money, etc.
Then, you, just as a stranger, just expecting that this person’s going to give their time to you, they don’t know you. It’s not very realistic. It’s just going to turn people away.
It’s almost like if you have a homeless person that approaches you on the street. They’re asking you for money and stuff, or they’re asking you for stuff, you can see that a mile away. You can see, before they even approach you, this person wants something from you. They have a hidden agenda. You’re going to be turned off by that, right?
You’re going to try to avoid people like that. I get people all the time, “Hey. Can you mentor me.” These are people that I just feel like are trying to take from me. They’re not looking to provide any value. They don’t actually care about me and want to provide any value to me.
You want to approach it, always from a position of adding value
You want to take yourself out of the equation, and think to yourself, “Okay, if I want to learn from this person, or benefit, or be mentored, how can I provide more value to this person than the value that they could provide to me?” I think one of the best ways of doing that is actually trying to work for the person that you want to be mentored by.
If they have a business, a company, if they’ve got whatever, try to find a way to help them. Try to find a way to help them grow their business, to help them with their goals, their results. Add value to them first, before you expect anything in return. You always have to remember that the value you provide has to be equal or greater than the time or value that they would spend on you.
I’ll give you an example. I had this one person contact me. He said, “Stefan, I want to help you. I want to work for you for free. I’m going to do whatever it takes. I would love to work for you for free, but the only exception is you have to coach and mentor me.” I was like, I looked at this, and I was like, “Okay. You’ve offered to help me for free. My time is worth more than your time, because my time is very valuable, just in terms of business money-wise,my time is worth over a thousand dollars an hour. The value that you’re willing to offer me is stuff that I could hire someone else to do for $20 an hour. It’s not a fair trade off you spending an hour to help me, and then I’m going to spend an hour of my time to help you just because, in terms of the business and money-wise, the opportunity cost of my hour is worth more than what your hour is worth.”
It was coming from a position of like, “This guy had an agenda”. It just totally turned me off because this person was just looking to take, and was willing to provide back, but it had a stipulation to it. There’s an agenda that this person had. I don’t think that’s a good way of approaching it, because again, successful people are smart. They know what their time is worth.
I’d much rather hire someone to do certain things for me than have to trade my time for someone else, because again, I can spend my time doing things that can make me more money. I’d much rather just hire and pay someone $20/hour or whatever it costs to do certain things for me if my time is worth a lot more. You’ve got to understand that. You’ve got to think that way.
How can you work for someone?
I mean, contact him. Contact their company. Number one, before you try to work for them, or hire to work with them, or whatever, to add value, know what you can do for them. Have something to offer them. I’ve had people that contact me, and they’re like, “Hey, I’d love to work with you.” I’m like, “Okay. What can you do for me?What skills do you have?” Whatever. They say, “I don’t have any skills. I want you to train me.”
Well, now, you’re going to take more of my time, because now I have to spend my time to train you. I’d much rather just hire and pay someone instead, because, again, that’s going to require my time, which is my money.
If you’re going to approach someone, identify, “Okay. How can I help this person?” Develop skills that you can utilize to help that person. Maybe it’s saying, “You know what, I can help you with your social media.” I had a person like that say, “Hey, Stefan, I can help you grow your Twitter following. I can help you do this. I’ve learned this. I’ve been through courses on this. Here are the things that I can do for you,” and offer to do it.
Offer to help the person out, either to get paid by it, or for free or whatever, provide services for them. By doing that, when you add value to a mentor or somebody that’s successful, you’re going to benefit from that, because they’re going to help you out. They’re going to want to help you. You’re going to have direct access to them, to ask them questions when you need help, etc. Even then, you want to still value the person’s time.
One thing that successful people hate when they’re mentoring people is when their students ask them questions that could easily have been found elsewhere. Before you ask a mentor a question, you want to make sure that you’ve looked online, you try to find the answer before you go to them, because again, you want to value that person’s time. You want to respect their time. Offering to help, great way.
Either for free, because you can get value back by doing it that way, or to actually be an employee of the company, and get paid for your time. Again, make sure that you have specific things you can add value. You’ve done your research, your homework, you know exactly what you can do and how you can help them. Value that and respect their time.
You want to make sure, again, you’re being honest as well, because I’ve had people that said, “Hey Stefan, I want to work for you for free,” or, “I want to work for you. I can do this for you.” They’re people that are just unreliable, and end up wasting your time, as well.
Again, that’s the most important thing you’ve got to understand is that a mentor, a successful person’s time is valuable; value that and respect their time more than anything if you want to be able to help them. Again, if you do help them, I’m sure they’re going to help you back.
How do you find these people?
Again, online. People they might follow online, or people from books, people you might respect or look up to. It could be people in different areas. One great way to meet people that are more successful is to go to different events, go to seminars. I always go to seminars because you meet people. There are speakers there that are more successful. By being in that environment, you can maybe approach them and offer to work for them, whether it’s even taking out their trash, cleaning their apartment, or whatever.
These are all things that you could do that can add value to them. I know many people that have done that to be able to benefit and learn from someone that’s more successful as well.
Going to events, seminars is great, even meet up groups, although really successful people don’t really typically go to a lot of meet up groups. A lot of seminars, they typically do. Environments like that are key. Then, also, I think, realizing that if you want to be a mentor for people as well, in some cases you’re going to have to pay a coach or a mentor also. Again, it’s providing value if you want value back.
If someone’s time is worth a certain amount of money, you can’t just expect them to just to give that to you for free. If they’ve got a coaching program or mentoring program, you can inquire about it. You can pay them for their time. That’s another fantastic way to learn directly from the mentor or coach.
I’ve done that throughout my life. I’ve found mentors and coaches. Even when I didn’t have that much money, I hired them. I learned from them. That was great. I learned a lot just by paying them. It was a win-win because I’m paying them for their time. Their time is worth a certain amount. I’m paying them for that. I’m getting value back. I’m providing value as well.
You don’t want to just expect that someone’s going to help you and you’re not going to do anything for them. That’s very rare. I don’t think that ever happens, really. I’m often reminded, the Karate Kid, even the Karate Kid, he was painting the fence and sanding the floors and all that sort of stuff for Mr. Miyagi, before Mr. Miyagi even taught him anything.
It’s always a two-way street
You’ve got to provide value first. Usually, mentors, they want to work with people that are committed, people that are actually going to take action and do what they say, because one pet peeve they all have is giving advice to people that don’t listen to their advice or don’t even apply it, or take action in any way.
You want to make sure that you’re eager, you’re committed, you’re willing to do what it takes. If you can prove that, then that’s how you’re going to be able to attract, and be able to actually have a mentor.
I’ll finish with this. I don’t remember the whole story, but a friend of mine was mentored by Jim Rohn. Jim Rohn’s passed away. He’s a famous motivational speaker. He met Jim Rohn in a seminar, actually. Jim Rohn was a speaker. he met him sitting down. Jim Rohn went up to speak. He was a young guy. He asked him and said, “Jim Rohn, I’d love for you to mentor me.” Jim Rohn said, “Okay, well, if you want to be mentored by me, you’ve got to do this, this, this, this and this, and then call me. Here’s my number.” I forget exactly what he had to do, but he had to do certain things, sort of basically show that he was committed.
Once he actually proved that he was committed, he called Jim Rohn, and Jim Rohn was like, “Wow, you’re actually one of the few people that actually did exactly what I said. All right. Now you’re ready to be mentored by me. Now you’re ready to be coached. Now I want to work with you because you’re someone that’s actually committed and serious. You’re actually willing to listen to me and take action.”
Sure enough, that friend of mine, he’s gone on to be very successful. He shared with me that story of meeting Jim Rohn and being mentored by Jim Rohn. That’s just another example of working with a mentor and attracting one in your life.
Hopefully, this has been helpful for you in some way. Thank you so much for watching the video. Make sure to like and leave a comment below. Let me know what you think. Subscribe for more videos like this. Thanks for watching.
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For freelancers working at home, they enjoy the benefits of beating the traffic and even working on their pajama. Thanks to the internet, you can now be your own boss. You can work whenever you want, wherever you want. However, despite its benefits, freelancers working at home need to deal with productivity issues.
Unlike employees that get paid by the hour, freelancers are often times paid based on their output. This means that there is a need for consistency in terms of productivity.
Here are 7 productivity tips for freelancers working at home
1. Create a routine
How important is a routine in your work productivity? Mastery of work and efficiency are products of repetitions. By having a routine that you follow daily, you will be able to set aside good habits that can increase your overall efficiency. Routine also negates the need to stay motivated. Your impulse will simply be a product of habit that you need to get out of your bed and start working on certain times of the day.
It is also a good idea to have a ritual in your routine. A ritual signals the body that it’s time for you to start your routine. In addition to this, you can also have the right mentality.
2. Create a workspace
Your environment will affect how you think. If you work in your bedroom, it is a good idea to have a space dedicated for work and for thinking. One simple way to create a workspace is by having a work table where you can place your computer, and other things needed for work. However, it is better if you can have a separate room that could serve as your office.
In fact, there are other freelancers who decide to work in coffee shops and other places where they can focus.
3. Prepare as if you are going to work
How do you expect to work if you are in your pajamas in bed? Most likely, you will end up going back to bed procrastinating. What you want is to prepare as if you are getting ready for work. You can take a shower, and then take a cup of coffee to get ready for your day.
4. Set your rules (and follow them!)
Offices have a typical structure for their employees. In an office setting, you have a supervisor who monitors not only your productivity, but also implements rules for everyone to follow. This is something that is absent when you decide to make your home your very own work station.
In order to increase productivity in your work at home, it is important to set and follow some rules. For instance, you have to keep the distractions at bay. You want to make sure that you limit the use of social media. This might take a bit of discipline, but this can definitely be worth it.
If you are fond of using social media, you can set the time when you can open your social media accounts. This can help in lessening the stress that you experience especially when dealing with deadlines.
But of course, freelancers are in a tricky position. There are times when freelancers working at home are faced with the dilemma that there could be insufficient work the following weeks. Thus, they will need to compensate. If regular employees spend around 8 to 10 hours at work, freelancers need to work 8.5 to 11 hours daily in order to compensate for the hours that they won’t be working. It is just as important to not forget to rest. Keep in mind that it is easy to experience burnout.
6. Plan things out in advance
It is typically a struggle, especially during Mondays to be productive. However, you can change this by having an agenda prepared for the entire week. It is a good idea for freelancers working at home to make a schedule of things that they will do for the entire week. This will enable freelancers to have an agenda first thing in the morning.
But since freelance work can sometimes be erratic, you also have to learn how to be flexible. Keep in mind that there are some work requests that will arrive in the middle of the workweek.
7. Rest day
No matter how much you love your work; there will always be a tipping point wherein stress will get the best of you. Freelancers need to assign even just one day of the week when they can unwind and rest. This way, you can recalibrate and find your center once again. On your free day, find the time to spend some time with friends who you enjoy.
Perks of working at home include being able to work in exotic locations to potentially getting more money compared to working in an office. But what you have to realize is that you might also find it hard to maintain productivity in this type of set-up.
In fact, if you are the type who lacks self-discipline at work who needs to be monitored every time, working at home isn’t something that you want to try. Maintaining a consistent level of productivity can become an issue, especially when you are used on working in an office set up.
Do you have any other productivity tips for freelancers? Feel free to leave a comment!
Have you ever been burnt out in your business or personal life?
Have you ever hit that threshold of being exhausted, physically and mentally?
We’ve all hit plateaus. It’s part of the process.
The key is being able to ANTICIPATE burnout and avoid it all together.
In this video blog, I share how I avoid burnout and how to prevent burnout from even occurring. These strategies have been useful for me and can help you to continuously grow without burning yourself out.
Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on iTunes, YouTube or below on the blog. I appreciate it!
Some questions I’m getting asked are, “How do you stay in shape when you travel, how do you make progress towards your health and fitness goals, how do you stay healthy, and what supplements do you take?”
I understand how important my health is. If I get sick, it ends up costing me a lot of money and time, so I need to avoid that at all costs.
When you have a business or a career you have to understand that your time is worth money. Time is the most important thing. If you end up getting sick and that takes away from your business or your career, you’re missing out on making a lot of money.
Hey everyone, Stefan here from Projectlifemastery.com, coming to you guys from South Beach Miami Florida right now. Just renting out a little place here through Airbnb. As you guys know, I’ve been traveling around for the last few months. I was in Japan, I was in Thailand, Bali, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, now I’m here in Miami.
Next week I’m actually going to Disney World in Orlando on Friday which should be a lot of fun. Next week, I’ll be going to Arizona before I go back to Vancouver so a lot of traveling. One question I’ve been getting asked is how do you stay in shape when you travel? How do you make progress towards your fitness goals or health and fitness goals? How do you stay healthy and what supplements do you take?
A lot of people have been following me on Snapchat and I usually share my daily routines and I’m going to the gym and I’m taking supplements because I value health above anything. Health is actually my number one value because I recognized a long time ago that if I don’t value my health and put it first, then there’s no me that’s available to do anything else in my life.There’s no me that’s available to work on my business, to have a great relationship or to do anything.
Taking care of your health always has to be your highest priority
I know a lot of people when they travel, they end up getting into worse shape. A lot of people when they travel they end up gaining weight, they end up being more unhealthy. They’re eating out a lot. They are drinking and consuming things that it can be a little more challenging for them because they don’t have a routine.
In this video, I’m going to attempt to share with you, my fitness rituals, my health rituals, some of the supplements that I take and can hopefully help you guys when you decide to travel, whether it’s a short trip or a long trip like myself. I think the core thing to understand is making sure that you value your health above anything else.
It has to be something that’s important for you because if your health isn’t important for you, then you’re not going to do the crazy things that I do to stay healthy. For me, I understand that health is so important that if I get sick, it ends up costing me a lot of money. Just getting sick for a week, that’s something that just can never happen.
It’s something that I got to avoid, I got to prevent, I got to make sure that it never happens because when you have a business or even a career, you have to understand that your time is worth money. Time is worth money. Time is the most important thing. It’s more important than money.
If you end up getting sick and that takes away from your business or your career, you’re missing out on a lot of money. For my case, my time is worth a lot of money, over a $1000 an hour. If I end up getting sick for a week, I’m losing thousands and thousands of dollars because with that time, there’s an opportunity cost and there are more important things that I could have done. Health has to be important. Getting sick can never be an option.
You have to make sure that your standards are extremely high
If you want to be optimally healthy and fit, you got to have higher standards than everyone else. You can’t compare yourself to people that are unhealthy and sick and unfit because most people are obese. Most people are unhealthy and sick and are going to die from cancer or heart disease. I think research shows that 50% of people are going to get heart disease and 1 in 3 people die from cancer.
You got to have a higher standard than everyone else and I’m going to share some of those standards that I have with you guys here in this video. Number one, the first thing I want to mention is that there’s a big difference between health and fitness. They are related to some extent but you have to understand that health always has to be more important than fitness.
I know a lot of people that are physically fit, they’ve got a great body, they’ve got a six pack, they are muscular or whatever it is and they’re massively unhealthy. I see this time and time again and these are people that I know. I know a lot of fitness models. I’ve done fitness shows and stuff like that. I have friends that are doing steroids and all these drugs and they’re consuming all these pre-workout energy stuff that’s basically a crap product that’s just loaded with excess amounts of caffeine.
It’s like you’re taking 3 coffees before your workout and you’re just taking all these chemicals in your diet. They’re consuming all these whey proteins that are dairy and casein and have mucous which harden in your mucoid, in your intestines. It creates a mucoid plaque which prevents the absorption of other nutrients. There’s just so many issues that I see with people that are “fit” but they’re massively unhealthy.
You always got to put health first guys. If you take care of your health first, your energy, your vitality, that’s what’s going to allow you not only to be fit as well but more sustainable, live a long life and have energy because energy is extremely important part of success. If you want to achieve goals and results in your life, you can’t do it if you don’t have an abundance of energy.
Successful people have a lot of energy. Every person that I know that’s very successful, they have a lot of energy. They have energy excuse, me, to wake up early, to work on the business, to … In the evening time, the weekends, the energy is what pulls them and pushes them to take massive action on their business towards their goals. A lot of people I know they go to a job 9 to 5 and they come home, they’re tired because they don’t have any energy because they’re not taking care of their health.
They don’t have the energy to really grow and build a business and that can’t happen either. The bottom line is I know I’m kind of ranting on here about health but I think it’s so important that you guys got to make it a high standard for yourself and there’s always ways that you can grow and improve that.
I wake up and I do my morning ritual
Let’s talk a little bit about the fitness side as well. I have certain standards in my life as you guys know that I never break, they’re non-negotiable. One of them is every single morning I wake up and I do my morning ritual. I’ve got a whole program on my morning ritual called Morning Ritual Mastery that you guys can check out at morningritualmastery.com. It’s a 7-day program.
This is something I do no matter what because I always got to make sure that every single day I take time from my body, my health, my mind, my emotions and my spirit. It doesn’t matter where I am in the world, I’m always doing something every day for my body, my health.
I wake up, I’m drinking water first thing in the morning. I’m drinking water all throughout the day because the body gets dehydrated while you’re sleeping. Depending on the climate that you’re in like I’ve been in tropical environments that are really hot and very humid. You’re even more dehydrated in those environments.
Hydrating with water is very, very important. I always make sure that I do that first thing in the morning. I also make sure that I do something to engage my physical body each day. For my ritual right now, I go outside, I go for a walk or on a treadmill, there’s a gym where I am. Go for a walk for 5 minutes, warm up, 5 or 10 minutes doing my morning ritual, my gratitude, my visualization, my affirmations, a few things like that, empowering questions.
Then I go for a run and my run usually lasts for 40, 45 minutes and then during that run, I might be listening to something inspirational motivational. Afterward, I’m doing a cool down and finishing up my ritual that way. Engaging my body that way doesn’t matter where I am in the world, I’ll go outside, I’ll go to a treadmill. Engaging your body is free. There’s no excuse not to do it.
It doesn’t matter where I am and I think it’s even more important when you’re traveling because when you’re traveling there are more temptations. You’re more likely to be eating out at restaurants and stuff.
If you do cardio and you engage your body each day, it’s going to help prevent that you get fat and you’re going to make significant progress and I find when I do cardio in the morning, I have incredible energy throughout the day because the cardio that I do is very aerobic cardio. There are different types of cardio, there are different types of conditioning. Anaerobic is when you’re building a lot of acid in your body.
It’s when you’re doing sprints and hit training and even lifting weights. Those are great for looking ripped and looking really good, but you’re building so much acid and you’re tearing so many fibers in the muscle that your body has to recover. When your body is recovering, it’s going to be a cost to that which is your energy, you’re going to be more tired throughout the day.
When you do aerobic which is basically more light exercise like maybe going for a jog from a scale from 0 to 10, your energy level is at 7 out of 10 in terms of the intensity. Then you’re taking in a lot of oxygen without damaging the muscles and building a lot of acids, so you have so much energy throughout the day because you’ve now given your body so much oxygen that you’re going to feel great throughout the day. Also, you’re going to feel happy, you’re going to feel amazing. That’s a ritual that I do every day no matter what.
Look for places that have a gym
I also lift weights and one requirement for me whenever I travel is I always look for places that have a gym. The place I’m staying right now there’s a gym across the hall in the building. Other places there might be a gym across the street or within the area.
It could be a little bit more challenging to find the gyms but I was in Thailand and I was in Bali and I still found gyms in the places that I was staying or at least across the street or in the area.
You can always find gyms everywhere. I had a hard time finding a gym in Japan, in Tokyo. I will admit I don’t think I worked out with weights during the week that I was there. Some places it is more challenging without a doubt. I remember looking for gyms in Japan but it’s like people just don’t work out there. It was just really strange to me how hard it was to find a gym even in like hotels and stuff like that.
Again, that’s a standard that I have. I have a standard, you know what, the places I stay has to have a gym because my goals aren’t just going to stop because I go on a vacation, because I’m traveling. The goals that I have, these rituals they’re there just help support me in my life, not just to achieve my goals but to be the best that I can be. Working out, taking care of my health, I always see that as an act of self-love. That’s a gift that I give myself every day.
By taking care of my body, I’m honoring my temple, I’m honoring my Creator. It’s going to allow me to make everything else work. I don’t need to take breaks from it. It’s just something that I do that I love, I enjoy and you got to enjoy it if you’re going to do it long term. Working out, cardio, doing something like that every day, having a ritual, these are things that are non-negotiable that you make part of your life no matter what.
If you guys are having a hard time with rituals, get my morning mastery program. It’s inexpensive. It’s a 7-day program. Hundreds of people now have been to the program and gotten amazing results. You might think, “Well, you know, I don’t need a program to create a morning ritual.” If you’re not doing a ritual then you do because there’s a conflict in your belief system that’s preventing you from doing it.
The program that I created doesn’t just teach you and say, “Okay, do this as a ritual,” it helps you address the belief systems, making it a must, making it important and also making sure that it’s a sustainable ritual long term. The only way it’s going to be sustainable and making it that important is you have to shift your beliefs. The program’s amazing, get it. I’ll have a link in the description for it.
What you should know about supplements
Let’s talk a little bit about supplements because supplements are another important part of my health and fitness ritual. A lot of people have different opinions about supplements. I love supplements. I’ve gotten immense value from supplements. Taking them for years and that’s a lot of money in supplements and testing different products.
I even created my own brand which is Life Mastery Nutrition lifemasterynutrition.com and I started to create my own supplements because I want to make sure that what I put in my body is the highest standard, highest quality products and I want to share that with people.
For me, one thing I’ll mention first and foremost is number one, you got to make sure that you are eating healthy and have a good workout training program because no pill, no supplements are going to solve that for you. There’s no supplement you can take that’s just going to help you lose fat without doing any work or help you lose fat and you can eat junk food and not exercise.
It doesn’t work that way, the same thing with gaining muscle or being healthy. Really I think that 90% is your working, your workout and your exercise and your diet and nutrition. Supplements play a 10% role. I think they play a physiological role and also a psychological role. Sometimes one thing a lot of people say is well, how do you know if a supplement’s working? Really number one, there’s a few factors that are used to measure.
Number one is always measuring how I feel and I usually implement one supplement at a time into my routine, my lifestyle so that I can try to measure it that way.
Measuring how you feel, that’s not the best way but it is a way to measure whether or not how effective it is as well as results with your health and fitness, your fitness goals where you’re losing weight et cetera. It’s not great because so many people are so out of touch with how they feel. A lot of people, they’re so used to stimulants like caffeine that when they take caffeine, they immediately feel energized and in a great state.
You’re not going to get that from other supplements. You’re not going to get an immediate effect. People think well like, “I’m taking this product but I don’t see an immediate effect.” It doesn’t work that way with a lot of products. You got to understand that. Part of it is that if you’re very sensitive to things like I’ve developed a very good sensitivity to certain products.
I know whether or not it’s working because I’ve done … I’m just working my mind-body connection so much over the years and I know even on a spiritual level how I resonate with different products.
There’s a placebo effect
That’s important. Also just again, measuring the results. Another way of looking at it that I find is that really for supplements to work, you have to believe that it’s going to work. With anything, nothing in life will work unless you believe it will work. It will only work to the extent that you believe it works. There’s a placebo effect. Placebo effect a lot of people look at it as a negative thing.
I look at it as a positive thing because I remember reading a study. This famous person, I forget his name but he was a doctor and he started treating his patients with sugar pills and telling them that it was medicine. What happened was he was just doing this as a test and he was journaling everything.
It was a huge breakthrough in science. What happened was these people that were taking sugar pills thinking that they were taking real medicine were actually healing themselves and actually getting better. How was that possible? It’s because of the belief. It’s because they believed that they were taking medicine even though it wasn’t really medicine that they got better.
That’s the power of your mind. That’s the power of your belief system. Sure enough, this doctor when he actually shared this, he thought he was going to win a prize and something like that and all these patients were upset with him. Everyone was mad at this guy because he was giving them sugar pills. They didn’t realize it’s a huge breakthrough that he discovered and now he is recognized for the work that he did.
Your mind, your belief is very powerful. For me, I can take certain products and for me, as long as I believe that it’s working, I’ll get better results and that’s all that matters for me because you’re taking products to get better results. You’re taking them to be healthier, to be more fit, to help achieve your health and fitness goals.
Whether or not it will actually work physiologically, it’s actually not that important, it’s the belief of it actually working that’s going to make more of a difference for you.
The belief system is key
I find that to be the most important thing and it gives me a psychological edge because if I’ve got a goal to lose fat, to get lean, I’ve got a fitness show, I want to gain muscle, I need as much belief in my way to help me achieve that. I invest in supplements because it’s going to make me feel like I’m doing the right thing.
Every day, I’m losing fat because I’m taking these supplements and sure enough I do, sure enough, I always achieve the result or the goal that I’m after. The psychological is powerful. Let’s jump into some of the supplements. These are some supplements that I take.
I got another video blog I did like a year or two ago when I was doing a fitness show where I go through like all the supplements, my meal plans because I had to get meals delivered to me and stuff, meals prepared. That’s on my YouTube channel. I think it’s called my weight loss plan. You guys can look it up.
These are some that I take when I travel. When I travel, I always bring supplements. There are certain ones that I never leave the house without. They’re important. Again, these are high standards that I have. I don’t care if I’ve got to check an extra bag whatever, usually I don’t. I just find a way to put everything in my suitcase and I’ve been traveling for a few months.
Athletic Greens
I also recognize some places you might travel to, you’re not going to be able to find good supplements. When I was in Thailand and Bali, I couldn’t find a lot of the products that I take. I bring them with me which is very important. Number one, this is a great product right here called Athletic Greens. I’ll have links to these products below. This is a product that’s amazing guys.
Greens drinks, greens powders are amazing number one, for your energy, for your recovery, for giving your body the right nutrients and the right vitamins, minerals et cetera because one thing is a lot of people don’t realize the regular diet you might be eating you’re not going to get all the nutrients you need from the regular diet. Most foods that you’re going to be eating are deficient in certain nutrients.
Even a lot of vegetables are because the soil is different and it’s not organic and it’s not the same as it was before. A lot of minerals, a lot of core vitamins, nutrition, you’re not going to be getting from a regular diet. That’s why you got to supplement and make sure that you guarantee that the body is going to get exactly what it needs to recover, to be energized, to help achieve your health and fitness goals. This is a great product that I take and what it does, number one is it’s like a dehydrated greens powder.
It’s a greens powder that basically is a mixture of like Spirulina and wheat grass and broccoli and spinach and kale et cetera. Greens as well as a few different herbs and roots and a lot of different other just really essential ingredients that you would just never get again from eating a regular diet. Number one, the greens is really great if you’re not getting greens consistently in your diet, so that’s a really important reason for taking a product like this.
Also, it helps to alkalize your blood. A really great book to learn about acid-alkaline balance, the PH balance is a book called the PH Miracle by Dr. Robert Young. Making sure your body is an alkaline state. This product here also has a lot of very important vitamins and minerals so like vitamin A, C, E, K2, Biotin and Zinc and Selenium and Copper, Chromium. A few different minerals that are really important.
I take vitamin and mineral supplements too but when I’m traveling I like to bring something like this because it has a lot of that stuff in it already. It’s really light. They also have these travel packs here too. I bring these with me if I’m going on a short trip. I’ve got a 5-day trip, I always bring 5 of these packs. What you do, is you take it first thing in the morning. First thing in the morning, I take a water bottle with me when I travel as well. I basically mix it with water and a lot of waters you’re going to have when you’re traveling and it’s bottled water it’s going to be acidic.
I’m a health nerd. I drink ionized water at home but when I’m traveling, I don’t have access to that so it’s even more important that I alkalize my water. I mix it with water first thing in the morning, empty stomach and then I also take it after my workout to help with recovery as well. At least twice a day, I take this product. It’s also got enzymes in it, it’s got antioxidants, it’s got herbs, it’s got probiotics, it’s got super mushrooms, mushrooms as well.
Really amazing products guys. This is one of the best ones that I take that I absolutely love. It tastes really good too. A lot of them test like garbage, a lot of the green powders. I’ll throw a link to these guys below and you guys can check them out. I order them online. They get shipped to me within a few days. I think they can deliver anywhere in the world. Athletic Greens guys, get it. Trust me, it’s going to give a lot of energy too.
Blender bottle
Next product, I’ll mention this as well, I usually bring a blender bottle. These are blender bottles. You can but it at the store or you can buy them online. These are really cool products because they have it’s a shaker cup so I can mix protein and my drinks in it. Also, they have different compartments. For example, this here comes off and in here I got some proteins.
When I’m traveling and especially if I’m on like a flight, like an airplane or whatever, I can throw in some protein or some of my supplements and stuff in this little container, attach it to the bottom of the bottle and then bring it with me. Also, when I open this, there’s another one right here that I can throw in. This here, it’s actually a bit wet. It’s actually a little hard to take it out but it’s basically another one of these that you can throw in here.
I can put in my protein, my vitamins and it’s really great when I’m on an airplane or like I’m not going to have access to a meal. A lot of people eat badly when they’re hungry because they didn’t prepare. You might be out for a few hours and you get hungry, you going to go to eat whatever is just the most unhealthy place or whatever, whatever is available. This helps ensure that you’re preventing that from happening.
You always have to think ahead by actually having my protein there with me. All I need is just water, I can mix it. That’s all I need for a meal replacement. Blender bottle is great.
Plant-based protein
I always bring plant-based protein with me. This is a product called Vega. They’re not the number one brand that I recommend honestly but they’re good nonetheless.Traveling wise, I bring my own with me but I ran out from the ones that I have from Vancouver. Vega, I was able to find and this is a good option for plant-based protein. I could talk a ton about protein. Now I can talk a ton about protein.
I’ve got a good friend of mine, Wade light heart who knows everything about protein because he’s a vegetarian bodybuilder and went to Mr. Universe and national championships and all sort of stuff and he did it as a vegetarian.
A lot of fitness people that take whey protein and casein protein. Whey and casein protein isn’t really high-quality protein because it’s cooked in the process. It’s also a dairy product as well. A lot of people have issues with dairy like bloating and gas and for me personally, I get bloated and gassy when I take it. Understanding when you take protein, you might be getting in 30gm, it doesn’t mean that you’re absorbing all 30gms.
There’s a difference between your absorption and what you consume. A lot of people, they’re consuming all these whey protein but they’re not absorbing all of it because it’s cooked in the process. Whereas plant based protein is raw, it’s got the enzymes in it. It’s going to be easier for you to digest and also you’re absorbing more protein from it. You can consume even meat and chicken and beef and stuff like that, you can consume 30gms of protein, but maybe you’re only getting half of that. You might only be absorbing half of that.
Whereas plant based, you’re going to have a much higher chance of absorbing more of it and it’s going to be better for you. It’s more natural product. The Vega one, the reason why I don’t like them is they used to be good but as they have grown, they have kind of diminished the quality of the product.
They use a lot of pea protein and pea protein is a tough protein for the body to digest and will usually make you more gassy and bloated as well. Higher quality plant based proteins are like hemp protein, rice protein, pumpkin protein, those are more of the ones that I prefer. Nonetheless, this one tastes good too and it’s a good option as well.
Plant based protein, always take this. Usually, I have two scoop supplement with this throughout the day, two or three scoops actually sometimes.
Life Mastery Nutrition products
Let’s go into some more products here. These are some of my products I’ll share with you guys. I’ve shared them before but one is CLA conjugated linoleic acid. This is my supplement brand called Life Mastery Nutrition. I always bring … This is actually one of my favorite supplements. I always bring this with me everywhere. I always take it because number one, what CLA does.
It’s a very common fat loss supplement but one of the biggest benefits of it is it prevents body fat storage. Especially when you’re traveling, you might be eating out at different times or consuming certain foods that might not- That support your higher calorie foods. Anytime you eat out, there’s no way of knowing how many calories that you’re consuming. Often times it’s a lot more because they’re using certain oils and ingredients that you can’t see that are increasing the number of calories in those meals.
What CLA does is it prevents body fat storage. I take 3 capsules every single day. They’re actually soft gel capsules but I take them every day, morning, before and after my workout and what that does is that if I am having higher calorie days or eating out, it prevents my body from storing it as fat. It’s not like a magic thing like you can’t go eat 10000 calories and expect it’s going to help you prevent fat ducking in that case.
It does make a significant difference. This is one of the products I always notice a difference with. Also great for fat loss and burning fat. It’s basically made up of safflower oil and there are other benefits to it as well in terms of cholesterol and your body mass and a few other health benefits to it as well. The biggest one being fat loss. Definitely know there’s a huge difference with this product so I highly recommend CLA.
If you guys want to check out my brand, my products. My products are really high quality. I develop them and I want to share them with people. I’ll have a link explaining the description if you guys want to check them out on Amazon. CLA, I might even throw in a little discount, a little coupon code for you guys on your check out on Amazon. I’ll throw that in the description as well. Another one is BCAAs, branched chain amino acids.
This is also my brand Life Mastery Nutrition. BCAAs are really important for me especially when I’m losing fat because I don’t have a lot of- I’m not a very muscular guy, I’m more of a lean person. For me when I’m losing fat, one of the risks of losing fat is that you lose muscle mass. Muscle mass is something that you work so hard to attain especially if you’re bulking up and stuff like that. You want to maintain as much of it as possible.
By taking BCAAs, it ensures that I’m getting the amino acids that will help prevent muscle breakdown. It helps preserves muscle mass. Also, will help to gain muscle mass as well but really, you’ve got to be eating more calories in order to gain more muscle mass. There’s a number of other great benefits in terms of your recovery.
I usually take them before and after my workouts because it will help recover in terms of if I had a really intense workout. Also, it will help with my endurance, my stamina at the gym as well. BCAAs, very, very important. Always take those. The other one is L-carnitine. L-carnitine is an amino acid. There are different types of L-Carnitine. There are L-Carnitine tartrates, there’s L-Carnitine Acetyl.
This is L-Carnitine tartrates which specifically helps with fat loss and also with muscle recovery and endurance as well. It’s also got a lot of other great benefits but the main thing how it works is that helps the body be able to burn fat as energy, as fuel. You want to get your body, if you want to lose fat, your body has to start burning fat and using it as fuel and energy.
Next is Omega 3s. This is a great brand called Nordic Naturals.Omega 3s are very important for your mood, your emotional well-being, your heart, your brain function. Even for just your overall fitness because you want to make sure you’re getting the right oils in your body. I think this is Fish Oils. I like Fish Oils. It’s a good source of oils but there’s also … Yeah, this is Fish Oil this brand.
Usually, when I’m in Vancouver, I have got a bottle and it’s a vegan based oil which is Udo’s Oil but it’s hard to travel with that. I like to take these ones. These are really important, I think more importantly just for your overall well being.
A lot of us we eat diets that are so deficient in oils and Omega 3s, whereas we used to eat a lot of fish and nuts and foods that had the oils in it. Most foods today are deficient in the essential oils. Supplementing with it is key and I think it’s a really core component just to being happy. These are actually known, Omega 3s are known to help prevent depression and a lot of great benefits with it. I always take oils. Great for your skin too.I get dry skin from time to time so Omega 3s and the right oils are very important.
Natural product foods and probiotics
Here’s another good product. I mentioned before making sure you don’t get sick. I have always said there are 3 natural products foods that I take that have always prevented me from getting sick, and that’s Cayenne pepper, garlic … Actually, I’ll throw in four, cayenne pepper, garlic, ginger, and onion.Those four foods are amazing for your immune system. It’s not always practical to eat ginger and garlic although I usually do but there are supplements you can get.
Here is one, just cayenne pepper and garlic. I take two of these capsules every day, helping to get it in my diet. Really great for the immune system. Another great supplement to travel with is an oil of Oregano. This will help detoxify your blood if you get sick. That’s been a very common one. These are just a few examples of products out of a few other ones that I usually travel with. Another great one is probiotics.
Probiotics are great especially when you travel to certain countries where you can actually get sick from the food. For example in Bali a very common thing that a lot of travelers get is something called Bali bug because there are different bacteria that you’re consuming, your body is not used to it and so you can end up getting diarrhea and vomiting. Probiotics will help prevent that. Probiotics or the good bacteria that you put into your digestive system that will help to fight off bad bacteria.
Probiotics are key. There are other supplements I take like cretin and glutamine and fitness ones and health ones and enzymes and things like that. I don’t always travel with those ones, though. Athletic Greens is great because they have probiotics and enzymes in them. These are some of the main ones that I take that I honestly, I never leave the house without these products because they’re just so important.
The real difference in getting shape and healthy
It comes down to having a high standard for yourself and making it a must for you to take care of your health, your body, and your fitness. By doing this guy, I’m able to lose weight, be healthy, be fit, be energetic, be productive and it makes everything a much more positive experience. When I travel, I come back home, I’m in better shape than I was before I left. That’s how it should always be guys.
Again, the real difference in getting in shape and all these sorts of stuff is not going to be supplements and little technique, it’s your standards. Making it a must, making it important for you. Not being afraid to invest in the money. I’ve always viewed this as the best investment I could make because it’s an investment in myself. You’ve got a Ferrari as a body.
You’ve got this amazing piece of machinery here and if you put crappy food and fuel into it, you don’t take good care of it, it’s not going to perform. A lot of people they walk around like they’re driving their little beat up Honda Civic and that’s exactly the result they have because they’ve put in the cheap fuel and they don’t take good care of it.
You have a Ferrari though and you got to take good care of that Ferrari. You got to put the best supplements in it, you got to fuel it, you got to take good care of it.
If you do, you’re going to get a lot from your body and it’s going to allow you to live the life that you want to live. Kind of ranted on in this video but hopefully this has been useful for you guys because a lot of you have been asking for some health and fitness stuff from me. Honestly, health and fitness are like one of the most important things in my life beyond anything else business or money.
I don’t really talk about it that much but I know a lot about it as you guys can probably tell because I’ve studied it my whole life. I’m really passionate about it also but maybe I’ll do some more videos related to it. Hopefully, this was useful for you guys when traveling and maybe even when you’re not traveling, a lot of these can be useful for you as well.
Again, I’ll throw links to some of these products that you guys can check out below in the description. Check them out guys. Even my products are great products. It will definitely help you. I don’t share anything that hasn’t benefited me first, that I don’t personally believe in. That’s always my number one goal and aim is to be transparent, to share things that I take, that have benefited me.
If you guys want to have similar results to me, then you guys can buy modeling me and take some of the products. That’s it for these video guys. Thank you so much for watching. Make sure to leave a comment below. Let me know any questions you might have and maybe other supplements or products you might want to share as well. I’m always open to checking out different products also. Thanks for watching guys. I’ll see you in the next video.
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Ever wonder how you can overcome your struggle with shyness, anxiety and fear, and live a life of confidence?
I used to struggle massively with shyness. That was the biggest problem of my life all throughout high school and during my early 20’s as well.
It may feel like you’re the only one, but the truth is that lots of people struggle with shyness and social anxiety.
Breaking out of your shell doesn’t magically happen overnight. It takes time, effort, and the desire to change. You’re on the right track just by reading this post.
You need to understand that, in order to feel more confident and secure in your interactions with others, you’ve got to put yourself out there. You’ve got to confront and face your fear, even if it’s just taking a baby step. I promise you that the results will pay off.
Hey, everyone, this is Stefan from ProjectLifeMastery.com, and in this video, I’m going to share with you how to overcome shyness and social anxiety. Now, if you’re someone that’s watching this right now and you currently struggle with shyness, anxiety, fear, maybe you’re more of an introvert, maybe you are afraid to put yourself out there to meet new people, to socialize, to date, to approach a stranger. How do you overcome that?
Well, I’ve got a lot of great tips and advice for you in this video. I want you to know first of all that I used to struggle massively with shyness. It was actually the biggest problem of my life all throughout high school, and even early on in my 20s as well. I struggled with it massively. I remember even when I was in school, I didn’t talk to anybody. I used to spend lunch time and recess and break just by myself.
I was a computer nerd, and I would just spend all my time in front of the computer because that was a way for me to escape, playing video games, being in front of the computer, watching TV. I was so afraid to meet and talk to people that I would just try to escape that and just be alone.At least in front of the computer, I can feel significant, I can feel special or like someone important because I was very good at playing video games and I got a lot of my needs met that way.
As a result of that, I didn’t have a lot of friends, and maybe you can relate not having that many friends and not being able to meet new people. I remember a huge pain for me at the time as well is I switched high schools a few times. I remember being attracted to certain girls, and I was just so afraid to talk to them. I was just so terrified of rejection. I also remember when you’re shy, you micromanage everything in your head.
Analysis paralysis
You’re filtering every thought that you have and you’re over-thinking so much that you get analysis paralysis, and so even if you’re in a social situation and you’re talking to someone, you’re so stuck in your head thinking about everything you’re going to say and you’re like, “Oh, I can’t say that because that’s going to sound stupid. I’m going to look weird.” I was just so fearful of what everyone thought of me.
I also remember in cases in school where I was forced to give a presentation for a class project or the teacher would call me or something like that, I used to always turn bright red. My face would turn red. I start shaking. I start sweating. I had really severe anxiety. I remember actually skipping school a lot of the time through high school. I also remember if there’s a presentation that I had to do, I’d much rather skip the class and take a zero in that grade in that project than actually facing my fear and getting up to do it.
Man, I can relate. I feel like this is my duty to create a video on this because I’m now 30 years old. I have changed my life in so many ways, guys. I put a lot of work into myself. I know exactly what it’s like and what the pain is, the struggle. I remember people used to make fun of me. Because when you’re really shy, you’re almost like an easy target for people to pick on.
Bullies will pick on you more because they know that you’re not going to fight back, you’re not going to defend yourself in any way. They see you as an easy target that they can make fun of and pick on so that they can boost their social status in the environment.
I remember people would say to me like, “Do you even speak? Do you even talk?” I was even super shy around my family where the dinner table, there are people, I wouldn’t talk to anyone, so, man, I know the pain of it. The great thing is, is that you can change. You’re watching this video right now. You’re committed to change. You’re looking for answers, and I really respect you for that.
As long as you stay on this path and you’re willing to face your fears and do some of the things that I say, you will overcome this. It’s not going to happen overnight, but you can make incredible changes in your confidence in overcoming this that can really make a difference in your life. Hopefully that you watch this video to the end and actually apply a lot of the things I’m going to share with you.
Shyness isn’t really who you are
Number 1, a big breakthrough for me when I was like … I didn’t really overcome my shyness until I was maybe 21 or so, but a big breakthrough for me was that shyness isn’t really who I am. It’s not who you are. You’re not really shy.
In fact, by holding on that identity, which identity is basically a series of beliefs about who you are, by identifying yourself as a shy person or someone that has anxiety or someone that’s depressed or someone that is whatever, that is your definition that you’ve given yourself, maybe other people have given that to you, but you’re accepting that as who you are, your identity, and it’s not.
It’s BS, a belief system. If you carry on withholding that identity, that’s going to prevent you from making the change, because one thing that I heard from Tony Robbins years ago is that the strongest force in the human personality is the need to remain consistent with how we define ourselves. You define yourself as someone who is shy. You’re going to remain that way because that’s who you are. That’s your identity.
Number 1 thing that I’ll say is that it’s not who you are. It’s basically just a belief system, an identity for yourself that you’ve created or other people have created for you but that doesn’t mean that it’s true. That doesn’t mean that it’s real because there’s a part of you, there’s a part of me, there’s a part of everyone that is social, that is confident, that is an extrovert, that is amazing, the life of the party, the social butterfly.
You have that within you, but it’s just been dormant for so long. It’s just that part of that personality within you that’s just been dormant. You haven’t maybe fully actualized that part of you yet because maybe there’s a time in the right setting with your friends or whatever that that part of you comes out, you see a glimpse of it.
A lot of people, the shyness isn’t who you are. It’s just a state, a state of being. It’s a pattern that you’ve been running, a script. You’ve been conditioning it so much your entire life that it’s become the norm. It’s become natural for you. It’s become habitual and you identify that this is who I am because you want certainty, but you’re so much more than that.
That’s really the first step, is realizing that that’s not who you are. It’s just a belief. It’s just an identity. It’s BS. You can change it, and you have to believe that you can change it if you are going to change, because if you don’t believe it, then you’re not. You’re not going to do the actions that are necessary to change it.
Understand that it’s not who you are. You’re not shy. That’s just the personality. We all have multiple personalities. We all have a part of ourselves that is decisive, that can take action. We also have a part that’s more lazy and indecisive. We all have a part of ourselves that are happy and ecstatic and joyful.
We also have a part of ourselves that are more, maybe, depressed or sad or lonely. These are different states, different sides of ourselves. We understand that these aren’t who you are, that it’s different parts of you that are maybe a little more underdeveloped than others. Whatever states you consistently access is going to be the default state of being for you.
I’ve got a really good video blog, by the way, on my YouTube channel called How to be Awesome, or How to Feel Awesome all the Time. It’s really good. I recommend checking that one out as well, but that’s number 1. Identify this is not who you are. It’s a state. It’s a pattern, and you can change it. I was able to change it. Watching me right now, do I seem like somebody who is shy? Do I seem like someone who can’t socialize? Of course, me just getting in front doing a video like this, you can tell I’m a social person.
What you do every day is conditioning who you are
Now, the other thing that’s worth understanding is that your conditioning… What you do every day is conditioning who you are. If you’re always alone by yourself in front of the computer, playing video games, watching TV, you’re not socializing, you’re conditioning yourself to be in that state. You’re making that stronger. It’s a stronger part of yourself, and the only way to really change it is to condition yourself to be social, outgoing, and confident.
That’s the only way to change it. Right now understand that if you’re just there in front of the computer and stuff, you’re actually strengthening the shyness within you because you’re just spending more and more time in that state and it’s going to become harder for you to socialize when the time comes.
I’ll share my story real quick. For me, I was very shy. When I was 18 years old, I decided, you know what? 17 years old actually, I decided I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to change my life. I was sick and tired of being shy, of being a nobody, having no friends.
I remember girls that I liked because it would pain me so much because I remember even having opportunities with the girl in high school that would like me back, but I was so terrified to make a move or do anything. I finally got to a point where I got honest with myself. I look myself in a mirror and I said, “You know what? No more. I’m going to change.” I got rid of the computer, got rid of the video games. I got rid of the TV, disconnected it. I said, “You know what? I’m not going to feed this anymore.”
The pain of living my life that way was far greater than the pain that I have to go through to face the fears. You got to get to that point where you make it painful. You get honest with yourself, you tell yourself the truth and you make a decision to change because in a moment of decision everything can change for you. It’ll put you down in different path and allow you to take different actions.
I decided, “You know what? I got to change.” The first step, get rid of anything that is feeding that destructive habit. Step 2, I realized, the only way I was going to change is not from reading books or watching YouTube videos. That’s going to give me some theory and information, but that’s not going to make me social.
If you want to learn how to play basketball, you don’t sit there in front of YouTube or read a book. You’re going to learn way more by getting on the court and actually playing than you ever will from a book. You got to understand, you got to put yourself out there. You’re going to have to start to confront and face these fears. Even if it’s little baby steps, that’s okay. I took baby steps, and I also took massive steps as well, quantum leaps that really made significant changes, and I’ll share a few of them with you guys right now.
Be comfortable with discomfort
Number 1 thing that I did … I did several things, but one is I decided, you know what? I need to become comfortable with discomfort. If something scares me, I’ve got to face it. I’ve got to do it because that’s the only way I’m going to overcome it. I wish there was a technique I could give you, but really, the only way is to feel the fear and do it anyway, as that book says. One thing I did is I joined public speaking classes.
There’s an organization called Toastmasters. You can join for free or there are yearly membership fees you can pay, but it’s very inexpensive. Every city in the world pretty much has Toastmasters. I think you can go to Toastmasters.org, and they’re little public speaking groups. You show up to a meeting. They have their weekly meeting or whatever. You show up. You can just watch the beginning if you want.
You’re going to introduce yourself, and even for me, that was a stretch, just standing in front of people and actually introducing myself. That was terrifying for me, but again, those baby steps, I got a lot more confident in doing it.
I did public speaking, and week by week I committed myself to go. What I found is that being in a supportive environment like that where you don’t know these people, they’re not going to judge you, everyone is in the same boat, other people are shy as well, they’re going to encourage you and cheer you on. That was a good empowering environment for me to get more comfortable with myself and speaking in front of an audience.
That was one thing I did. Another thing I did was acting in improv classes. I remember actually specifically joining these acting classes. I found them through a school board or whatever, and it’s called Acting for the Terrified. It was like acting classes specifically for people that were scared and had anxiety. I remember I signed up for 6 classes every week, and I went to one, I was terrified to do it, basically getting in groups of people and stuff and you got to act things out.
I had never before expressed myself in different ways. Again, I was so busy in my head micromanaging things, over-thinking everything. I remember being terrified to do it, but I did it for 3 sessions. The fourth session, I didn’t show up. I had so much anxiety that I just decided I can’t go. It’s just too much for me, but I made progress. I went to 3 sessions. I improved a lot. I gave myself credit for that.
Improv is great too. Improv, you’re going to be put in situations where you’re going to have to get in front of a group and not have any idea what you’re going to say. It’s going to be purely spontaneous and you’re going to be asked to stand up and talk about X, Y, Z, or act out this. When you do it, you are going to embarrass yourself, but that’s how you get better. You have to understand that, is that the only way that you’ll overcome your fear is by doing it.
I remember I used to coach people that were shy and introverted. We’d go to a club. It’s an environment that would terrify them. There would be girls around and stuff. I said, “Okay, go talk to that girl.” He said, “No, I can’t. I’m afraid of rejection.” I said, “Great, then let’s go get rejected because that’s the only way you’re going to overcome the fear.”
You got to go and get rejected 100 times and then the hundredth time, you’re going to be desensitized towards it, you’re going to stop caring. You got to desensitize yourself towards rejection and all these sorts of thing.
Improv is great. You guys can look that up in your area. Another thing that I did is I forced myself to approach strangers, and this is something I was terrified of, but I understood at the time I wanted to have a girl in my life, a girlfriend, things like that. I realized that in order to attract the woman I want I got to have the confidence to go to approach her. The woman that I’m going to want in my life is going to want someone who is confident, that believes in himself, that has certainty. I recognized that I needed to change that.
Take baby steps
One thing that I did, I took baby steps. I used to go to the mall. I used to go to the busy street in my area in Vancouver’s Robson Street. As I walk down the street and I just would take baby steps. The first thing I do, I said, “I’m going to approach 10 people today, I’m just going to ask them for directions, or I’m going to ask them for the time.” It might sound silly, but that was a huge stretch for me. I’m so afraid just to ask them for the time, and just walk up and say, “Hey, excuse me, do you know what time it is?”
I forced myself to do it, and I found by taking those little baby steps, every time I’d walk away, I gain confidence. I felt better about myself. I was like, “Wow. I did that. I faced my fear.” You do it again and you do it again, you do it again, and get momentum, and you start to realize, “Wow, that wasn’t that scary. That wasn’t that hard. I can do this. People aren’t as scary as I thought. I didn’t embarrass myself. They didn’t judge me, whatever,” and I forced myself to keep doing it.
Then after that, I was like, “Okay, I’m going to force myself to go a little bit further. I’m going to try to have a conversation with someone. I’m going to try to ask someone a question and actually engage in a conversation.” I slowly did that and gained some confidence. I remember I used to go out 4 days a week doing this. I remember at one time, this is funny, when I was 16 to maybe 21 or so, I worked for the family business off and on, and it was a construction business with my dad and stuff, and I used to have to go to Home Depot.
I think I go to Home Depot to basically pick up supplies and stuff like that, so while I was working I said, “You know what? I’m going to use this as an opportunity to improve my social skills and face my fears.” What I decided is every time I went to Home Depot, I had a mission, I had a goal. I said to myself, “I’m not going to leave Home Depot until I said hi to 3 people. 3 people I’m going to say hi to.”
I remember people look at you like you’re strange and stuff, but just walking down an aisle like, “Hey, how’s it going? Oh, so you’re having a good day, great.” Just hey, just smiling and saying hi. I used to practice just making eye contact with people or smiling at people, but those little things helped build my confidence. Those are just little things that I did that you can do little exercises when you go out that will help improve you and give you more confidence.
Giving compliment and adding value to other people
I remember for me, I also forced myself to approach women. I was afraid to talk to girls and approach them, so I decided, “You know what? I’ve got to face that fear.” I went to night clubs. I went to the mall. I went to the beach. I went to the streets. I make it, I got to approach 3 women, 10 women, and a little exercise that I did was I would just approach and give a compliment and then walk away.
I wouldn’t force myself to any conversation. I’m not trying to get a phone number or date or anything like that, but just to add value, to give a compliment. If there was a girl walking by, I stop and say, “Excuse me, I just want to say that you’ve got really nice hair,” or “You’ve got a great smile,” or “You look amazing today,” or “You look really beautiful. Have a great day.” That’s it. Walk away.
By doing that, when you walk away, you end the conversation. There’s no rejection. I found by doing that women responded amazingly well. They’re like, “Oh my God.” They start blushing. They feel really good. They call their girlfriends afterward and say, “Guess what? Some guy complimented me today,” and it makes them feel good. I felt good about myself because it’s adding value to other people.
I did that, and then eventually forced myself to get into a conversation with a girl. I say, “Hey, you know what? I have to say that you look amazing,” or “You look beautiful,” or “I saw you walking by and I’d be kicking myself if I didn’t stop you and say hello. What’s your name?” Now I’m transitioning to a conversation. What’s your name? I’m Stefan. What are you up to today?
Transitioning again into another question, what are you up to? What’s going on today? Now you’re having a conversation with someone and you’re talking about what they’re doing what you’re doing. Really, I mean, just going further and further from there to telling stories and joking around, having fun. These are all things you develop over time, but it all starts with baby steps guys. You’re going to take baby steps or big steps, whatever your courage is right now, but take those steps and you gain more confidence. You got to condition yourself. That’s what it is, condition yourself.
The more time you spend at home by yourself, introverted, you’re conditioning that side that’s not going to allow you to be extroverted in those moments in your life, to have the social skills and the confidence and to overcome the shyness and anxiety. It is a process. For me, I decided, you know what? I’m going to spend 4 days a week socializing, I forced myself to. It’s great if you can get some friends or you can meet people online.
That’s what I did. I didn’t have friends, so I found people on message boards and people online. I went to different events and meet up groups and forced myself to meet people that way. That was really great for me. The funny thing is, in a few years, I made a big transformation in my life, became a totally different person that I started coaching people. This was when I was 21. I started my first business called Lifestyle Transformations. I made such a transformation, my confidence. I could approach girls, get phone numbers and dates.
People are blown away because I had this ability to talk to girls on the street and talk to a group of girls and just do these really amazing things. I wanted to share and help other people, and I built a whole business and I coach people for years just doing that, helping them develop their confidence and meet girls and dates and really changed their life in a more positive way.
Understand that you can change
There’s a lot of great things that can help you guys to overcome the shyness, the anxiety, develop that confidence and the social skills, but man, just understanding you can change. Again, books and resources can help you, but you got to face it. You’re going to learn so much more by getting out there and talking to people. You know what? You are going to get rejected. I’m not going to lie. You’re going to get rejected.
You’re going to have people say … be offended. You’re going to have people that are going to judge you, and understand that it’s got nothing to do with you. If you approach someone, you’re like, “Hey, have a great day today. You look amazing. Have a great day,” and that person starts yelling at you, upset, that has nothing to do you with you, man. That person is having a bad day.
That person has got some issue in their life. They’re unhappy. They’re projecting that on to you. Understand you can’t take those things personally.
People that comment on YouTube online, whatever, there’s negative stuff, there’s positive stuff, all it is is a projection. If somebody watches this video right now and they said, “You suck. I hate you.” That has nothing to do with me. That person is probably upset, or hates himself or his life in some way, just having a bad day, and he’s projecting that as a comment on YouTube.
You got to understand, these people don’t know you. How could they dislike? How could someone dislike you if they don’t know you, they don’t really know who you are, they don’t know the real person that’s you? You’ve got to understand that rejection doesn’t really exist. It’s all how you interpret it.
Also, it’s really actually a blessing too, because rejection is always feedback. That’s how you learn. Sometimes when you’re approaching people and you’re socializing. You might come across a little bit weird because you don’t know how to calibrate. You don’t know how to pay attention to social cues. You don’t know how to pay attention to body language and stuff. The only way that you know where the line is, is by crossing the line, by doing things that are uncomfortable that are going to offend people and stuff.
You’re going to be willing to ruffle a few feathers
Then you know where the line is, you know not to cross it. Don’t be afraid to go through that. The great thing is when you go to environments nobody knows you, it doesn’t matter. Nobody knows you. It’s not going to matter if you get rejected or embarrassed in front of people. I’ve had many moments like that, but again, it’s always been a great thing because it’s made me stronger, it’s made me better, more confident, desensitized myself towards it and help me become a much more social, confident, outgoing person.
That’s what I got to share about how to overcome the shyness, the anxiety, the fear. Hopefully, you guys take some of this advice that I have for you. If there are any questions, leave them below. I’m more than happy to answer some for you. If there are any specific questions about other things, I might do another video. I might even do a video on how to meet people and approach people and stuff, because that was a big area in my life that I coached a lot of people on, even dating, et cetera.
If there’s any interest in that, leave a comment and I might consider doing a video on that also, but man, understand you’re in the right place, you’re looking for answers, now you’ve got to go for it. You’ve got to make it a discipline and force yourself to face those fears. Again, it’s going to happen over time, but man, in a year, 6 months, a year, you can change your whole personality, your whole confidence, and it can really be amazing for you.
Hopefully, this video has been helpful for you. I’ll throw in one more tip too as a resource. I’m not going to go too much into it, but another thing that’s helped me is conditioning the states every day that I want to experience, so the states of confidence, social, believing in myself, dedication, motivation, et cetera, conditioning that every day through a morning ritual.
I have morning rituals in my life that I put myself in a state of confidence, I put myself in an outgoing social state before I go out. Morning ritual is a great way to do that. I’ve got a whole course on that called Morning Ritual Mastery. If you want to create a morning ritual that can help support you to put you in a great state to condition yourself.
Again, the only way you change is through conditioning. You’ve conditioned shyness and anxiety, now you got to condition every day, like building a muscle, confidence and being social, so MorningRitualMastery.com. That’s a program that I created. I have a link below in the description. Head on over there. It’s a 7-day program.
Every day I’ll guide you to help you to develop a morning ritual that will help you with your beliefs, with your states, your emotions. That’s been another powerful influence for me as well. That’s it for this video guys. Thank you so much for watching. Make sure to leave a comment below and subscribe for more videos. I’ll talk to you later.
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